Opia Advent DAY 9 with Johann Heystek


Johann Heystek

Maker & Founder Objet JLK

Are you a Christmas lover?
Ha ha, do you mean sex? In that case, I am - who doesn’t enjoy a good roasting at Christmas?!

Do you have any Holiday / Christmas traditions?
We tend to have big boozy dinner with friends and play lotto, where each guest has to bring two small homemade items as prizes.

What is your favourite food during the holidays?
Does Glühwein count? It’s basically spiced grapes, right? That and homemade Vanille Kipferl, which my partner has to hide, in order to stop me eating them all in one go. My lack of self-control is actually quite embarrassing…

What is your most vivid childhood memory of Christmas?
Once when I was young, my dad opened a bottle of champagne behind my grandmother, shooting her on the bum with the cork. She screamed in surprise before swearing badly and loudly. My dad thought it was hilarious, my mother was furious with them, and my grandfather kept asking what’s happening, as he was almost completely deaf. Us children just sat there wide-eyed, watching the ensuing chaos unfold.

What is on your wish list this holiday season / Christmas?
Definitely a cat. Failing that, then maybe a Cymbidium Erythraeum orchid, a grey Milk’s Gym sweat shirt, or Etat Libre d’Orange’s Hermann… Thanks.

What was your favourite Christmas present as a child?
When I was 6 years old, my parents got my two older sisters and myself a 36 colour, deluxe marker set and 3 drawing pads. My sisters were too busy listening to True Blue-era Madonna and learning Rick Astley dance-moves to bother with drawing, so I basically had it all to myself. Happy days!

Which gift did you want but never get?
A Caracal – it’s a beautiful reddish-brown type of African wildcat, with green eyes and tufted ears.

If you have to choose the perfect gift for your best friend / loved one from your own collection, what would it be?
My partner already received the prototype pair of Glory Holds, erect little penis wall hooks for hanging stuff on. They are all individually moulded, and it’s naughtily practical. For a really good friend however, I would choose the Karoo China bowl – vintage turned teak wood, encased with Ostrich egg fragments that’s been stained blue, resembling old porcelain. Every single shell fragment had to be individually cut and shaped to fit the curve of the bowl – it was a real one-off labour of love, this one!


All Images: Courtesy of Johann Heystek, www.objet-jlk.com